i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The adults are the big ones right?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize