Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
