seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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