The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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