Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We are all done wearing pants today
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize