1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
