Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
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I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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