I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
