the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
