Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
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halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
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All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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