Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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