Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize