I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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