Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it hurts more in the daytime
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
