I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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