I puked a lego.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
