Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
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There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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