your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize