If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
