There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
