I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
