The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
