matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I believe in your delicious
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
