State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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