i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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