Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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