You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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