Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
