smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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