my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
