Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
