you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Let's paint friendship bongs
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
