My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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