PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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