there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
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I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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