grandma shit on top of the toilet
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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