You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
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i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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