Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize