My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
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Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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