Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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