so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
