You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
