Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
