Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
