So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
