I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
