were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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