I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
