i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
