Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
