You're so nebulous sometimes
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
