Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize