He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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