I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
