Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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