My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
