I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
